Evil Poodles, Tin Dogs and Rebound Girl
by Stephy-Lou Clark-Weasley
Summary: Kissfromarose challenge. Martha and Mickey have been kidnapped, Jack is being attacked by an evil poodle, Donna returns and will Mickey ever win the girl? Mickey/Martha, Jack/Donna, hinted 10Rose and Gwen/Rhys.


_Not too hard, this one. As I have said before, there are almost no fics about Martha and Mickey. Here is your challenge: You must write a fic, set in the present day, where Martha and Mickey realise what they feel for each other can't be denied any longer. _

_It must include: Donna (after her memory loss), an uncontrollable dog, the words "I don't know where to put it!", a sobbing Jack Harkness and finally, the words 'SOLVENT' gratified on the wall of the Torchwood hub._

"YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP"

It was an annoying yipping sound that Ianto doesn't usually hear unless he's in the park as someone walks their annoying yippity, yappity dog. Why he can hear one when he's safe and sound behind the reception desk in the public entrance to Torchwood Three, he doesn't know. He shuddered and carried on his work, when the door suddenly opened and Jack came hopping in.

"YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP"

"Ianto you got to help me" Jack choked out.

"What have you done now?" Ianto sighed. "I thought you were chasing after another one of those blowfish headed aliens."

"We were" Gwen said walking in looking like she was trying to not laugh. "But Jack got attacked and Martha and Mickey got kidnapped by the blowfish. We know they're safe but Jack refuses to go anywhere other than here till he gets rid of his...furry little problem shall we call it?"

Suddenly using his amazing skill of gymnastics (he was very flexible if Ianto remembered correctly, which he did blushingly) Jack banged his leg onto Ianto's desk showing a small white, fur neatly trimmed poodle, with it's teeth firmly lodged into Jack's shin.

"I don't know where to put it!" Jack sobbed, tears falling down fast. "That evil little dog just won't let go!"

"Right let me get this straight, an evil blowfish headed alien has kidnapped Martha and Mickey and we're here crying over an over groomed poodle?" Ianto said raising an eyebrow sceptically.

Gwen sighed. "The comms are still working, Martha assured me that the blowfish hasn't done anything but tie them up together. Then Mickey said if he does die he wants you to know it was him who spray painted. Solvent on the wall in the Hub"

"I knew it was him!" Ianto growled. "Ask him what spray paint he used because I still can't clean it off"

"Ask him yourself!" Gwen snapped. "What am I, your slave?"

"No I believe that's my job" Ianto said dryly.

"SOMEONE HELP!!!!" Jack shouted still hopping as he tried to kick the poodle off of his leg.

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

"This is all your fault" Martha snapped as she wiggled trying to get her hands out from the ropes that had her firmly tied to Mickey Smith, Tin Dog, Pain in the Arse and Hottie Extrondinare...no she shouldn't think that, she's engaged.

"My fault? How the hell was it my fault?" Mickey demanded to know. "I wasn't the one who screamed like a girl when she saw the blowfish headed creature packing a gun"

"No you were the one who screamed like a girl when the poodle bit you" Martha snarled.

"That is one evil poodle" Mickey shuddered. "I swear it has been stalking us"

"You're being over imaginative" Martha said rolling her eyes.

"Oh yeah? You're lacking your imagination, too much of a soldier I see" Mickey shot back/

"Tin Dog"

"GI Jane"

"Idiot!"

"Cling on!"

"Rose's leftovers"

"Oh you asked for it, Rebound Girl"

"Rebound Girl?" Martha asked feeling shocked, hurt and rather confused. "How am I a Rebound Girl?"

"Well think about it, who did you fell madly in love with practically day one" Mickey said in a business like tone which gave Martha the impression he was mocking her.

"The Doctor" Martha admitted grudgingly after a two minute silence.

"And do you not agree he is a charming, dark-haired, mysterious doctor that likes to go to far-away places?" Mickey said sweetly.

"Yes" Martha mumbled.

"Sorry I didn't quite catch that, can you say it a bit louder?" Mickey said smugly.

"YES!" Martha shouted.

"And do you not agree that Tom Milligan is also a charming, dark-haired, mysterious doctor that likes to go to far-away places?" Mickey asked.

Martha rolled her eyes. "Yes, he is, so what?" she snapped bitterly.

"All right, all right, keep your hair on. You met him just after you left the Doctor right?"

"Yes"

"And you started to date him"

"Yes"

"Then you moved in with him"

"Yes"

"And agreed to marry him"

"Yes"

"All within a year after you left the Doctor"

"Is there a point in all of this?" Martha demanded.

"Of course there's a point in this Martha, you took up with Tom because you were on the rebound from the Doctor" Mickey said smugly.

"I am not!" Martha shrieked. "I am completely and utterly in love with Tom and it was a high coincidence that I met him just after I left the Doctor and plan to marry him very shortly"

Mickey snorted. "And denial is a river in Egypt" he said sarcastically. He then dropped the sarcasm and sighed. "Sweetheart, you are on the rebound with Tom. I should know, I've been there and done it. And honey it was not pretty"

"What happened?" Martha asked quietly.

"Well lets just say the Gwen Cooper in Pete's World was blonde, clingy and after I left her on the alter she disappeared to 'travel' my bet to annoy whatever Doctor that was there." Mickey said shuddering at the memories.

"The Doctor had rebounded" Martha said casually. "Joan Redfern, she was blonde and rather clingy as well. I was soooooooooo tempted to slap her"

Mickey laughed. "I should remember that for the next time the Doctor comes for a visit"

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

"Right plan of attack" Jack said hobbling across the tourist information booth. "Get rid of this evil poodle; preferably chuck it into the sea-"

"Jack!" Gwen gasped. "How can you do that to such an innocent creature?"

"Gwen if you hadn't noticed that so called innocent creature is attached to my shin by it's teeth" Jack said rolling his eyes. "Plus I think it had been stalking us"

"I think you're being a little too over imaginative there, Sir" Ianto said raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not, that _thing _is pure-"

"Precious!"

They turned round to see a pretty redhead in her mid-thirties standing at the door, hands on hips glaring at the evil poodle.

"D-D-Donna?" Jack stammered.

The redhead blinked. "Do I know you?" she asked squinting at him. "You look rather familiar"

"N-n-n-no, trust me I would have remembered meeting you" Jack stammered out the lie. Last time he had seen her was moments before the TARDIS landed to drop him and Martha home. They had a wild passionate fifteen minutes on the kitchen table that Rose had the misfortune of walking in on. Jack felt rather heartbroken when the Doctor said Donna lost her memories.

After all who would want to forget a shag with Jack Harkness?

"I see you found Precious" Donna said raising an eyebrow at the evil, over groomed poodle that was still chewing at his leg.

"Precious? This thing is far from precious" Jack said trying to kick the dog off.

"Don't I know it" Donna agreed. "It's my Mums, she's gone on holiday with my Granddad and I'm stuck looking over it's lordship."

"Oh so you live here in Cardiff?" Jack asked, last he heard Donna lived in Chiswick with her mother and grandfather.

Donna nodded. "Got a job in a local business, good pay, flat comes with it, so I thought why not? I mean even flipping Cardiff is better than my Mums"

"Indeed, your mother's place doesn't have me does it?" Jack said winking.

"No it doesn't" Donna agreed, a faint blush on her cheeks. "Would you like to get rid of Precious over a dinner with me tonight?"

"YES!"

"Eager, aren't you?" Donna said flirtatiously winking at him as she bent down and pinched Precious's nose causing the dog to yelp and let go of Jack's leg. She stood up and held the dog away from her. "You can pick me up at seven. I'm sure Pretty-Boy over there" she nodded to Ianto. "Will give you my address, after all you're Bloody Torchwood aren't you?"

"How do you know that?" Gwen asked eyeing Donna with suspicion.

"Well you hired me didn't you? I'm doing all your bloody paperwork" Donna said as she stormed out with her head held up high and Precious the evil poodle began to yip away.

"Right then, Mickey and Martha" Gwen said going back to business.

Jack was too dazed to even reply.

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

"Ok, so maybe I am on the rebound" Martha said slowly after a good half an hour of silence. "What is it to you?"

"Just being a good friend" Mickey said nervously.

"Well there's no need" Martha said shifting slightly, she really wished that her hands weren't tied to Mickey's; she can feel her circulation lost, gone, forever. "I love Tom"

"Where is Tom, Martha?" Mickey asked. "Is he waiting for you at your flat for the domestic part of your life? Is he at a local GP office helping people like a good doctor? No he isn't is he?"

"No" Martha whispered.

"How long till he comes back from Africa?" Mickey asked.

"He didn't say"

"You can do so much better" Mickey said softly. "Tom is the type of guy that has a wander lust that can never be sated; the only type of woman that can hold him down is the woman that will travel with him. Hand in hand."

"Sounds like you're talking from experience" Martha said bitterly.

"Yeah I watched Rose and the Doctor didn't I?" Mickey spat out. "Sarah Jane couldn't keep the Doctor, Cleopatra, Madam De Pompadour, you, Donna...but Rose. A woman that wanted nothing but to be by his side and see the world, yeah that can keep him"

Martha remained silent; she felt tears build up in her eyes.

"You need someone that wants to settle down and have adventures at home. Someone who wants to just snuggle up with you on the sofa, someone who wants to get married and have babies, someone who can understand the need to save the world. Even if it's a guy like Rhys, you deserve someone like that. You deserver what Gwen has"

Martha shuddered slightly, Mickey sounded rather passionate about this. Like he was determined to get her what she deserved.

"Dump Tom and find your Rhys, Martha" Mickey finished off. He sighed and closed his eyes. "I know I'm not good enough to be your Rhys but someone else has to be"

Martha inhaled sharply...did he just?

"I love you Martha Jones, I have spent the past few months falling for you. I love how you care, I love how you know everything, I love your smile, I love your laugh and I even love how you snuffle in your sleep. I don't need a Rose when I have you"

She remained silent, her heart was beating incredibly fast and she hadn't felt this way about someone...well not even for the Doctor. This was different, so very different. She tried to compose an answer but nothing could come out and the fact she was tied to him, meant she couldn't kiss him.

Damn this wasn't fair.

Suddenly a door opened and light blinded her.

"Martha! Mickey! Are you here?" Ianto called out.

"We're here!" Mickey hollered. "Over here! I hope you brought a knife with you, we're tied up!"

She could hear footsteps running to them and murmured voices as she felt her hands being cut free. She can feel Gwen checking her over, to see if she was hurt, she gently shook the motherly Welsh woman and turned to Mickey.

She pulled him down for a long passionate kiss, dominating his mouth, trying to communicate every damn feeling she felt for him since he ran after her and Jack that day so long ago.

She pulled away gasping and he looked dumb struck. "I love you too"


End file.
